Purse Parody (just for you KB)
Before I left for New York, one cute friend asked me if I could get her a certain Gucci bag from Chinatown. She made sure she showed me the EXACT bag before I left because she knows I am extremely remedial when it comes to purses. Admittedly, it stressed me a little knowing I had to find THE bag—not just any fake Gucci but a certain style of pseudo-Gucci. Getting back with that bag became somewhat of a focus for me. I didn’t want to let her down and I also wanted to show my friends (you know who you are), who hounded me about my own bad purse, that I knew a good looking fake purse when I saw one.
Can I interrupt for a minute and tell you about this group of friends? This is the greatest bunch on the planet. We ALL love to find bargains, but we all define “deals” differently and have different opinions on what should be purchased only at bargain price. Paying full price for anything may call for comments like, “Who ARE you?” or “What were you thinking?” or “Bad day with the kids?” Also, no one in our group can just say, “Thank you,” when complimented on a top or a cute skirt. No. EVERYTHING has a story behind it and because you were complimented on it means you finally get to tell your bargain story about it! One friend’s latest shopping adventure landed her 15 items for 80 bucks! (I heard this only after telling her I thought her top was adorable.) But see even this might not be considered a bargain to our Minnesota friend. Okay, back to the purse hounding. Not ALL of them ragged me that night. Only one friend (SW) ranks purses at the level I do, but even she has been known to carry some pretty snappy end of season bags. One friend (LB) bought me a new purse the next week. After they laughed, a couple of friends (TW, NA) called to see if I was okay with the purse parody. I was fine, really. After 2 years, I have all but forgotten it.
Jeff and I met up with a friend, Drew, who lives in the city (not to mention a rising Broadway star!) and who knows Chinatown, mainly because he has a very hip mother and sister. As we came up the stairs from the subway, he said “yes” to a man who had uttered only a few words under his breath, “Chanel, Gucci, Prada?” (Why so quiet? I thought.) The little man took off about 20 feet ahead of us down a side street off of Canal and we obediently followed being careful not to lose sight of him. (He walks awfully fast, I thought.) He unlocked what looked like a salon of sorts. (Weird time of day for it to be closed, I thought.) He held the door and let us in. (This salon needs some real work, I thought.) He starts down a never ending hallway, turns a corner and unlocks another door. (Strange, I thought.) We walk into a small room and he locks the door behind us. (VERY strange, I thought.) But as I turned around, I couldn’t believe it. There it was---the bag that looked just like the one my friend had shown to me! I was so excited because my mission was almost accomplished and my friend would be so happy! I decided to try to call her from this hole we were in to make absolutely sure this was it and to my shock she answered! (Who EVER answers right when you need them?) I described the bag trying not to seem overly excited in front of the seller and then quietly asked my friend what was her highest price. After I was sure I had the right bag, I was putting my phone back in my purse and I heard her yell, “MAKE SURE THEY’RE G’S!!!!!” I didn’t know whether to grin or be offended- like I didn’t know it wouldn’t be cool to bring home a purse with ‘Q’s all over it. I decided to grin and thought of our fashion conscious friend who mistakenly got home with Kade Spate hand bags once. Drew quietly asked me if I wanted a purse because if we bought more than one, we could get a better deal for my Fort Worth friend. Oh great, I thought, now he tells me. I am still carrying the brown leather bag I bought at Sam Moon 2 years ago (a step up from my last infamous Target bag) and now I need to pick out another one! As I looked around this 10 x10 room, I was completely sucked in by this covert operation. Under pressure, I debated, compared, changed my mind a couple of times and wound up purchasing TWO bags, plus the BIG Gucci!
Now, the integrity of my Chinatown rendezvous wasn’t questioned until days later, when I could do nothing about it. This put me in somewhat of a tizzy wondering what I thought about it all. Did they do returns in Chinatown? (Ice cubes in you know where) Well, I could throw my new stylish imposter purses away, but I am really not into wasting money. Saving it, yes. Wasting it, no. My tizzy was over.
The hand bag escapade is complete and my friend has her big sassy Gucci along with many other ladies she sees around town, she tells me. Lastly and to my satisfaction, my friends (KG) can no longer parade about the room carrying one of my purses and laugh………..unless 10 years (1 year??) from now they find I am still carrying my Canal Street purses which will force them, once again, to take drastic measures.
Can I interrupt for a minute and tell you about this group of friends? This is the greatest bunch on the planet. We ALL love to find bargains, but we all define “deals” differently and have different opinions on what should be purchased only at bargain price. Paying full price for anything may call for comments like, “Who ARE you?” or “What were you thinking?” or “Bad day with the kids?” Also, no one in our group can just say, “Thank you,” when complimented on a top or a cute skirt. No. EVERYTHING has a story behind it and because you were complimented on it means you finally get to tell your bargain story about it! One friend’s latest shopping adventure landed her 15 items for 80 bucks! (I heard this only after telling her I thought her top was adorable.) But see even this might not be considered a bargain to our Minnesota friend. Okay, back to the purse hounding. Not ALL of them ragged me that night. Only one friend (SW) ranks purses at the level I do, but even she has been known to carry some pretty snappy end of season bags. One friend (LB) bought me a new purse the next week. After they laughed, a couple of friends (TW, NA) called to see if I was okay with the purse parody. I was fine, really. After 2 years, I have all but forgotten it.
Jeff and I met up with a friend, Drew, who lives in the city (not to mention a rising Broadway star!) and who knows Chinatown, mainly because he has a very hip mother and sister. As we came up the stairs from the subway, he said “yes” to a man who had uttered only a few words under his breath, “Chanel, Gucci, Prada?” (Why so quiet? I thought.) The little man took off about 20 feet ahead of us down a side street off of Canal and we obediently followed being careful not to lose sight of him. (He walks awfully fast, I thought.) He unlocked what looked like a salon of sorts. (Weird time of day for it to be closed, I thought.) He held the door and let us in. (This salon needs some real work, I thought.) He starts down a never ending hallway, turns a corner and unlocks another door. (Strange, I thought.) We walk into a small room and he locks the door behind us. (VERY strange, I thought.) But as I turned around, I couldn’t believe it. There it was---the bag that looked just like the one my friend had shown to me! I was so excited because my mission was almost accomplished and my friend would be so happy! I decided to try to call her from this hole we were in to make absolutely sure this was it and to my shock she answered! (Who EVER answers right when you need them?) I described the bag trying not to seem overly excited in front of the seller and then quietly asked my friend what was her highest price. After I was sure I had the right bag, I was putting my phone back in my purse and I heard her yell, “MAKE SURE THEY’RE G’S!!!!!” I didn’t know whether to grin or be offended- like I didn’t know it wouldn’t be cool to bring home a purse with ‘Q’s all over it. I decided to grin and thought of our fashion conscious friend who mistakenly got home with Kade Spate hand bags once. Drew quietly asked me if I wanted a purse because if we bought more than one, we could get a better deal for my Fort Worth friend. Oh great, I thought, now he tells me. I am still carrying the brown leather bag I bought at Sam Moon 2 years ago (a step up from my last infamous Target bag) and now I need to pick out another one! As I looked around this 10 x10 room, I was completely sucked in by this covert operation. Under pressure, I debated, compared, changed my mind a couple of times and wound up purchasing TWO bags, plus the BIG Gucci!
Now, the integrity of my Chinatown rendezvous wasn’t questioned until days later, when I could do nothing about it. This put me in somewhat of a tizzy wondering what I thought about it all. Did they do returns in Chinatown? (Ice cubes in you know where) Well, I could throw my new stylish imposter purses away, but I am really not into wasting money. Saving it, yes. Wasting it, no. My tizzy was over.
The hand bag escapade is complete and my friend has her big sassy Gucci along with many other ladies she sees around town, she tells me. Lastly and to my satisfaction, my friends (KG) can no longer parade about the room carrying one of my purses and laugh………..unless 10 years (1 year??) from now they find I am still carrying my Canal Street purses which will force them, once again, to take drastic measures.
Comments
John 15:12-14
Thank you again for rishing your life for my fake Gucci, and the "G's" are perfection. I had someone tell me the other day, she liked mine better then hers! :)
Thanks for the laugh - I needed it!