One Month In

Okay, so we are a month in to the home school thing and I am really not sure how we are doing. A couple of things I have learned: One- there are a few days out of the month that don’t mix real well with home schooling. Two- I am a pharmacist and not a teacher. I heard dreaded words from my sweet daughter today. It’s hard to type them because she hit me where it hurts. She said, “I wish you were more fun like Mrs. Windsor or Mrs. Barbara.” Now for those of you who don’t know Mrs. Windsor or Mrs. Barbara, she might as well have been wishing for, say, a mix of Mother Teresa and the cast of Sesame Street. Not kidding.

In a couple of home school articles, I have read the analogy of a getting going is sort of like the take off of a plane. It’s a slow start but once you “take off”, so to speak, it’s a pretty smooth consistent ride. I guess I feel like we are still putting fuel in the plane or worse, packing our suitcases...... buying our tickets?? Or maybe for us it may be more like a bumpy uncomfortable horse ride and I am still taking riding lessons. Nevertheless, I do love it. Spending time with her has been such a delight. I have to say, she is a sweet gal, not to mention an eager learner. She wants to do a good job and wants to be affirmed in that by seeing it reflected in my face and hearing it in my voice. Unfortunately, she hasn’t seen or heard it as often as she would like, I am sure. I lost my voice last week so I whispered all morning and she whispered too… all morning. It was a pleasant day (try whispering in frustration). We may do that more often. I have asked forgiveness a few times for my lack of patience. (She includes "patience for Mommy" in her prayers.) On the mornings Brighton joins us, I feel sort of like an incompetent ring master at the circus- poorly directing a mere 2 rings. Last week I made sure they both knew I wasn’t trained as a teacher and I really didn’t know what I was doing, but I was trying. I told them if they would hang in there with me that I might get better at it. They are holding out hope for their mother.

Julia’s favorite time of the morning, and probably mine too, is reading in the window seat in the kitchen. We are slowly but surely making our way through Thornton Burgess’ The Bird Book enjoying busybody Jenny Wren, nosey Peter Rabbit, mean old Bully the English Sparrow and a whole host of interesting characters in the Old Orchard. Phonics is going well, again, slowly, partly because of her wanting to learn cursive and partly because I am not absolutely sure of the teaching method (we have back tracked some). We were whizzing through math until I caught wind of some other little girls learning to count money. I caved. I had to start it too. I really didn’t see I had a choice. The moms were talking about setting up a little store in which the girls could shop. (I had to get her READY to shop, for goodness sakes.) I won’t go into detail but by day 2 on money there had been tears, 2 (!!) frustrated parents, apologies and 1 little girl feeling “anxious” (that’s her word for it). Two days later, she gets it. Where did my patience go again? She’s sharp. She will get whatever I am teaching her if I just give her time.

So, when I said yes to home schooling, I knew it was more about me than it was about her. One short month has made this clear. God is going to do His work in me one way or another. HE is who I want her to see in me and when there are times that she doesn’t, I pray I will be the first to admit it and make it right. It’s truly not about what she learns this year or any year for that matter. As the Lord goes about His purposes in me, I get to have an up close look at my vivacious little girl. I can learn when she needs pushing, what furrows her brow, what makes her eyes twinkle, how to relate to her when she gets her “sass” on, what makes her ‘anxious’, what she looks like when she ‘gets it', when she needs a hug, what gets her excited, what stumps her, when she needs space, when she needs cheering on and most important of all, when she needs me to just be Mommy. Mother Teresa and Big Bird just wouldn’t do.
“The goal of [my] instruction is love from a pure heart, a good conscience and a sincere faith.” I Timothy 1:5 God, let it be.


Julia's Quick Tour of the Learning Room