Tuesday, February 12, 2013

LOVE: B's Way

Brand new friends, the adventure of first time parenting, the unknown of newborns and the Ezzos....  Baby Wise, Growing Kids God’s Way.  Who knew Gary and Anne-Marie in her big Batten-burg lace collar would be the platform for making lasting friendships and helping us create a little order for our sweet babies?  Those are precious memories and we are blessed forever by the friends we made and by what the Ezzos taught us.

Both of my children did great on the BabyWise schedules sleeping through the night at 6&1/2 and 8 weeks.  We kept them on napping, waking, and eating schedules as best we could.  As Julia got older, she took to pack-n-play time beautifully and matured into room time as her naps shortened.  Most days, that happy little girl gave me 3 hours of uninterrupted time in the afternoons.  Shocking, I know, but it made me such a better mommy.  I was practically as entertaining as Charlie and Lola and Dora the Explorer~ combined~ after that break.

And then came Brighton..... our bright light...... who wanted to shine all the time.  He put a few wrinkles in my BabyWise plan.

Oh, he slept through the night great and he napped fine... most days, but when the naps started to shorten and on the sad day he began dropping them, he wanted NOTHING to do with playing in his crib much less his room.  As soon as his eyelids were open, he was ready to be seen.  I tried the pack-n-play and I tried baby gates on his bedroom for “room time” and he would have none of it.  Well, then his crawling, cruising, and walking was delayed so I would feel mommy guilt for putting him in a pack-n-play when he needed to be practicing and exploring, so I simply gave up on trying to teach him to entertain himself.

And now he’s nine.

More company at bedtime
Now I can say, it has nothing to do with the Ezzo’s, my training or lack of, it’s just our Brighton.  He loves being with people. He loves interacting with you.  Being by himself never crosses his mind and now in our rental, sharing a room with Julia, sharing a bedroom door with Jeff and me, his life is good.  All is well in his “be with me” world.  It’s endearing most of the time, but exhausting some of the time and my sweet husband opens his arms to it.  Well.

Why be all alone in one chair?
Just this morning, as I was reading, Jeff came and sat across from me while he waited on Brighton to get ready to go out for their once a week breakfast before school.  He said, “We were together all weekend- did all kinds of things, and yesterday we played ping pong in the morning and fished and played Madden Football in the evening and last night B said, ‘We get our breakfast time in the morning, Daddy!’”  Jeff’s not complaining, just taking it in.  Surprised maybe, a little tired probably, but grateful that his boy wants to be with him.  Brighton loves his daddy for sure, but in general, he prefers being with people.  Solitude is a wasted word in his world.  His ability to engage with others- and his love for it- is the endearing part.  The exhausting part is when he can think of nothing to do and no one is available to play.... which comes around quite often in a 14 hour day.

I think it was James Dobson that I heard say our kids come “pre-programmed” and no amount of training will change some things.  As a new parent, I didn’t like hearing that for some reason, but now, I get it.  He’s right.  And thank goodness we aren’t all products of our environments!  God’s hand is upon us in the womb, making us special and unique and no amount of good parenting can change how God intended our children to live out their lives in this world.  God has an incredible agenda that will use every ounce of B’s personality, his bent, his ways of expressing love, his desire to be with people.  I am realizing as God naturally matures Brighton over the years, my job is to cheer on his “pre-programmed” ways with the goal of his bright light shining “that they may see [his] good deeds and glorify [his] Father in heaven.”  {Matthew 5:16}  Glorifying the Father.... now that’s the ticket.

Brighton.  Endearing, yes.  Kisses from under a baseball hat every time I turn around.  Solemn declarations of his undying love for me in the kitchen.  Requests to be with him all my waking moments.  I can take exhausted for that any day.

Oh, Mommas--- it goes by faster than you can ever imagine.


Alyssa said...

Could you please figure out how to bottle up just a little of his energy and send it my way? No vitamin is as potent as what he has!

Sarah said...

I have one with brighton's love language. My sweet samuel is never alone! He never did room time either. Not without crying. Poor baby. I gave up too. And he would play in the chair next to me.

Emily said...

These pics are so sweet! B has taught me a lot about loving others and showing that love by wanting them around, including others, etc. Love that boy!