Tuesday, September 18, 2012

A One Eighty


Here’s the view from where I’m sitting.


Too sick to go to school-- a rare occasion for her.  {Yes, that's "the" bowl for, you know... and yes, she's reading.  I've never seen the child too sick to read. Ever.}  Sick.  I flipped out ~kind of~  if any week of the school year I need for us to be AHEAD, it’s this one.  Not behind.  The piggy bank has been broken {literally} for our 20th, there’s a trip planned, sweet friends helping us out with the kids and my parents coming in to take over for the school week.  Sickness doesn’t fit in with this.  Neither does starting off the school week behind.  So “flipping out” ~  I got an email in the wee hours this morning that Brighton’s literature questions, that were due today, needed to be written in complete sentences.  Before breakfast, I am explaining this to B over a clean sheet of notebook paper, you know, how to basically repeat the question in the answering of the question.  For a guy who fills the room with as many words as he can from his own lips, he saw NO point in re-writing all those words in the answer.  That to say, it was not a pleasant redo.  Words flew loud and stern.  Eyes got big.  When finished, he jammed the stapler putting the new paper over the old paper so in attempting to fix the stapler, it gave me the perfect excuse to whack the stapler ~hard~ on the desk trying the dislodge the ornery staples.  And whack again.  Now, I wasn’t imagining whacking anyone.  I think I was whacking the changes that were taking place in my day.  Me and change have a love/hate thing.  I’m selfish.  It takes me a while to come around.

On my way home from taking Brighton to school, just the right songs randomly played off the iPod- one of my favorites that says “happiness is found right here in your house, in this room, in this hour”.  What else can I say to that but “Yes, Sir”?

Knowing my poor perspective, a sweet friend emailed this prayer from Treasury of Praise:

O Lord my shepherd, I worship you as the One who perfectly cares for me so that I never need to be anxious. Because You're so rich - with unlimited resources - I can live free from anxiety, knowing that my every need will be fully met. And when anxiety overtakes me, I have in Christ the solution.
Thank you for making clear in your Word, "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."
"God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."
Thank you for affirming that you care for me, and therefore I can "throw the whole weight of my anxieties upon him, for I am his personal concern."

I like that I am "His personal concern", don’t you?  And He can handle me.  When I can't handle myself.

After making the 180 shift in my mind, my list, my attitude, my agenda I have enjoyed the house- dark and quiet.   With a sweet little patient in my view.  She’s a good sick girl.

Today, this is what His happiness was for me but it was my choice whether or not to be happy.  Serving Julia in small ways was what He had for me today.  Not myself but her.  Not my will, but His. Not by might, but by His Spirit.

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