For This, I'm Grateful
The first words are always the hardest— whether you are walking into a room full of strangers, preparing to speak in front of a group or writing a post….. which I am attempting. I am feeling the time— the time that spans between writing— and it discourages me from doing this. However, I am stubborn enough to keep trying because I realize how quickly life spins, how days run together, how things can fall through the memory cracks and we miss lingering on the goodness and the giving of thanks. So maybe that's a good place to start. Giving thanks.
Momma's passing has made these months unique in the sense that many things are just different. Even though I've lived 1000 miles from her for many years, there's a hole in my life, in my thoughts and even in some routines like calling her when I hop in the car to go pick Julia or Brighton up. My daddy and I felt it when he came for a visit and when I went to visit him but here's the blessing. The hole she left is enormous but what she left behind is more than enough to fill those holes we feel— different than before but filled. We have memories to retell and even memories to discover. Her influence on me and those close to her is strong so we experience her impact often. And the love. I can't say enough about this— not only the love she had for each one of us and the particular ways she expressed it, but the love that surrounds our family- God's love which is more than enough but by His grace, we love each other and are loved by friends and family far and near. All of this… this is what fills the hole- the memories, the influence and the love. For this, I am grateful.
Jeff and I celebrated 25 years of marriage— that's a big deal, right? I think that constitutes a little lingering. When I met Jeff in the summer of 1990, I hadn't yet turned 20 and had even fewer notches on the maturity belt. But the defensive tackle from Furman stole my heart with his talk of God and His grace and I and my faith have never been the same. Twenty five years under his leadership has been anything but stagnant or stale— even though there would have been times, in my stubbornness, I would have welcomed stagnant. He keeps our eyes on the future while making for much fun in the present. For him, for this, I am grateful.
Summer ended and then school began……and this week before Thanksgiving we get a breather. But these school days are where the days spin — and you wake up and it's Monday again. This is where I struggle— struggle to keep focused on what matters. I KNOW how important that is— I VALUE family time, teachable moments, dinner at the table, having ready ears for ALL of the words— but many of these days just seem to dissolve into each other and the weariness wins out. This I fight. Some days I fight harder than others. This year, Julia dropped piano, added cheer and sadly couldn't make ballet work either even though she STILL wants to, got her learner's license, made some new friends and decided she wanted to work hard in school. Brighton kept piano, decided to try out for quarterback {got second string}, chose some really great friends and hasn't decided yet if he wants to make good grades. Some of these things matter. Some of them don't but I love that my kids are seeing things and deciding to go for it—whether it be activities, certain friends, a position on the team, grades. So I fight to hear what they are saying through all of these choices. I fight to engage them in the busyness of back and forth and to and from. I want to hear their thoughts that lead them to these places. I fight to create the space that's "large" enough so they feel there's room to hear them in the fullness of a day. Car time, kitchen time, table time, after bed-time, texting time, retreat time, homework time, couch time. For these, I am grateful.
This week we are coming off of 20 days with only one night with all four of us under the same roof. There were just some scheduling things we could not do any differently. Jeff and I go home today after a postponed celebration of our 25th and we are excited to be with our kids this week. We have some new fun planned along with our normal traditions of the week. We have one of our favorite families joining us for Thanksgiving which makes my heart SO HAPPY. But today this homebody is thrilled to have the week in front of her with the three people I love the most spread all throughout it. We have more fun to have, more people to host, more things to bake, more thanks to give, more love to share, more apples to wash, more caramel to melt, more fires to build and more memories to make.
For this, I am grateful.
These are some pictures that totally messed up but are too fun not to share. We took them this summer while we were in the Pacific Northwest and my settings were all WRONG but they are too funny not to share and remember.
Momma's passing has made these months unique in the sense that many things are just different. Even though I've lived 1000 miles from her for many years, there's a hole in my life, in my thoughts and even in some routines like calling her when I hop in the car to go pick Julia or Brighton up. My daddy and I felt it when he came for a visit and when I went to visit him but here's the blessing. The hole she left is enormous but what she left behind is more than enough to fill those holes we feel— different than before but filled. We have memories to retell and even memories to discover. Her influence on me and those close to her is strong so we experience her impact often. And the love. I can't say enough about this— not only the love she had for each one of us and the particular ways she expressed it, but the love that surrounds our family- God's love which is more than enough but by His grace, we love each other and are loved by friends and family far and near. All of this… this is what fills the hole- the memories, the influence and the love. For this, I am grateful.
Jeff and I celebrated 25 years of marriage— that's a big deal, right? I think that constitutes a little lingering. When I met Jeff in the summer of 1990, I hadn't yet turned 20 and had even fewer notches on the maturity belt. But the defensive tackle from Furman stole my heart with his talk of God and His grace and I and my faith have never been the same. Twenty five years under his leadership has been anything but stagnant or stale— even though there would have been times, in my stubbornness, I would have welcomed stagnant. He keeps our eyes on the future while making for much fun in the present. For him, for this, I am grateful.
Summer ended and then school began……and this week before Thanksgiving we get a breather. But these school days are where the days spin — and you wake up and it's Monday again. This is where I struggle— struggle to keep focused on what matters. I KNOW how important that is— I VALUE family time, teachable moments, dinner at the table, having ready ears for ALL of the words— but many of these days just seem to dissolve into each other and the weariness wins out. This I fight. Some days I fight harder than others. This year, Julia dropped piano, added cheer and sadly couldn't make ballet work either even though she STILL wants to, got her learner's license, made some new friends and decided she wanted to work hard in school. Brighton kept piano, decided to try out for quarterback {got second string}, chose some really great friends and hasn't decided yet if he wants to make good grades. Some of these things matter. Some of them don't but I love that my kids are seeing things and deciding to go for it—whether it be activities, certain friends, a position on the team, grades. So I fight to hear what they are saying through all of these choices. I fight to engage them in the busyness of back and forth and to and from. I want to hear their thoughts that lead them to these places. I fight to create the space that's "large" enough so they feel there's room to hear them in the fullness of a day. Car time, kitchen time, table time, after bed-time, texting time, retreat time, homework time, couch time. For these, I am grateful.
This week we are coming off of 20 days with only one night with all four of us under the same roof. There were just some scheduling things we could not do any differently. Jeff and I go home today after a postponed celebration of our 25th and we are excited to be with our kids this week. We have some new fun planned along with our normal traditions of the week. We have one of our favorite families joining us for Thanksgiving which makes my heart SO HAPPY. But today this homebody is thrilled to have the week in front of her with the three people I love the most spread all throughout it. We have more fun to have, more people to host, more things to bake, more thanks to give, more love to share, more apples to wash, more caramel to melt, more fires to build and more memories to make.
For this, I am grateful.
These are some pictures that totally messed up but are too fun not to share. We took them this summer while we were in the Pacific Northwest and my settings were all WRONG but they are too funny not to share and remember.
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