A Letter to a 15 year old Girl: Julia's Birthday Letter 2017
Dear Julia,
These years. I can’t do anything about them passing. It frustrates me to no end that I feel like I am running UP the escalator raising you. But that’s my problem. Not yours. So much I want to talk about, hear your thoughts on, teach you, explore with you, learn about you….. but January 24, 2017. Boom. You are 15.
I hope you liked your gift.
"True beauty is rare and seldom recognized by the one who possesses it."
We both have read this as a line in a book by Francine Rivers— one of my favorite series of all time, Mark of the Lion. {And I’m pretty sure it may be one of yours too knowing you have read it a couple of times.} It comes from the first book, A Voice in the Wind and it is spoken by Marcus, the arrogant young man who is transformed by Christ after years of observing a young slave live out her faith. It's a remarkable, compelling and beautiful story, isn’t it? This line stuck with me reading the series a second time now that I am raising you, my teenage daughter—in a culture more fixated on and obsessed with physical appearance than any generation before. With hours upon hours of YouTube "stars" to show you how it's done. With more product to sell to "help" you than ever before. With magazines and social media where computer gadgets and filters can make reality look very much fictional. And let's not forget the significant chunks of time given to the device in your hands where you and your friends compare and contrast yourselves with these "fictional" pictures and with each other. What's a girl to do? {What’s a mom to do, for pity’s sake?!} Honestly, first, I'd like to chunk the phone. That seems to be my answer to everything these days, doesn’t it? Maybe just chunking SOMETHING in general would help. It’s just that the phone just seems to be the handiest thing— at all times. I digress…..this will NOT be a post about my inner turmoil regarding phones. Julia, at fifteen, you are a beauty and I understand your desire to look at all the Stuff and to try all of the Products. But I implore you not to get fixated on Stuff and Products. Try what you want. Buy what you need. Use what you need and then live your life. Enjoy your day. Love your people. Avoid the mirror. Don’t seek out your reflection. Take care of yourself before you leave the house and then turn yourself all outward and love the people God puts in your path. This, my girl, is true beauty.
I’ve probably told you this story before but I remember taking one of my first road trips with your daddy and at the first pit stop {—you know how your daddy likes a quick stop at thecandy gas station—} I purchased a couple of magazines. At home, we subscribed to Better Homes and Gardens and, of course, Southern Living- just as we do now. I always wanted something different for the road, something I would never subscribe to so out of the gas station I came with probably Glamour and Vanity Fair-- something like that. I don’t know how far down I-20 we got before he started asking me questions about the magazines, but it wasn’t long. “Why did you buy those particular ones?” “What do you like about those?” “Do you think they are helpful?” Finally, our conversation ended with his asking me to think about just not ever looking at those types of magazines again. He did his best to explain his thoughts on beauty, expectations, expending time and energy on what is temporary etc. In my early 20’s I don’t think I got it but his challenge resonated with me and so I just never bought those magazines again. In hindsight, I have been so grateful. Even though I like to look pretty and try new things too, your daddy’s encouragement has kept me from being in bondage to the “Stuff and Products” that almost always carry Very Empty Promises. It’s just not worth the time and energy. There are more noble pursuits. Don’t get caught up in it. Do what you need to do in front of the mirror, walk away and don’t look back.
Charm is DECEPTIVE {delusive - deceitful - delusory - false - misleading} and beauty is FLEETING {transient - transitory - fugitive - ephemeral - passing}, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. {express warm approval or admiration, respect and gratitude}. Proverbs 31:30
I hope you have a vision of what it means for a woman to be praised by her family and close friends. I hope you’ve seen in your daddy’s care of me how amazing warm approval or admiration from ONE man is. I don’t know if I can express how extremely satisfying it is to be respected and to receive thoughtful gratitude from those we know. My Julia, we all know this has nothing to do with the product with which we wash our hair, the color of our eye shadow or the purse on our hip. Aim for something higher. Something eternal. Something that will be stored up for you in heaven. Love the God who created you and KNOWS you. Love the people God gives you. Let your light shine. This is true beauty.
“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
From within, my girl, sparkle and shine. Sparkle and shine.
I love you more than you will ever know. You are my darling girl.
Goodbye, 14. Hello, 15!
These years. I can’t do anything about them passing. It frustrates me to no end that I feel like I am running UP the escalator raising you. But that’s my problem. Not yours. So much I want to talk about, hear your thoughts on, teach you, explore with you, learn about you….. but January 24, 2017. Boom. You are 15.
I hope you liked your gift.
"True beauty is rare and seldom recognized by the one who possesses it."
We both have read this as a line in a book by Francine Rivers— one of my favorite series of all time, Mark of the Lion. {And I’m pretty sure it may be one of yours too knowing you have read it a couple of times.} It comes from the first book, A Voice in the Wind and it is spoken by Marcus, the arrogant young man who is transformed by Christ after years of observing a young slave live out her faith. It's a remarkable, compelling and beautiful story, isn’t it? This line stuck with me reading the series a second time now that I am raising you, my teenage daughter—in a culture more fixated on and obsessed with physical appearance than any generation before. With hours upon hours of YouTube "stars" to show you how it's done. With more product to sell to "help" you than ever before. With magazines and social media where computer gadgets and filters can make reality look very much fictional. And let's not forget the significant chunks of time given to the device in your hands where you and your friends compare and contrast yourselves with these "fictional" pictures and with each other. What's a girl to do? {What’s a mom to do, for pity’s sake?!} Honestly, first, I'd like to chunk the phone. That seems to be my answer to everything these days, doesn’t it? Maybe just chunking SOMETHING in general would help. It’s just that the phone just seems to be the handiest thing— at all times. I digress…..this will NOT be a post about my inner turmoil regarding phones. Julia, at fifteen, you are a beauty and I understand your desire to look at all the Stuff and to try all of the Products. But I implore you not to get fixated on Stuff and Products. Try what you want. Buy what you need. Use what you need and then live your life. Enjoy your day. Love your people. Avoid the mirror. Don’t seek out your reflection. Take care of yourself before you leave the house and then turn yourself all outward and love the people God puts in your path. This, my girl, is true beauty.
I’ve probably told you this story before but I remember taking one of my first road trips with your daddy and at the first pit stop {—you know how your daddy likes a quick stop at the
Charm is DECEPTIVE {delusive - deceitful - delusory - false - misleading} and beauty is FLEETING {transient - transitory - fugitive - ephemeral - passing}, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. {express warm approval or admiration, respect and gratitude}. Proverbs 31:30
I hope you have a vision of what it means for a woman to be praised by her family and close friends. I hope you’ve seen in your daddy’s care of me how amazing warm approval or admiration from ONE man is. I don’t know if I can express how extremely satisfying it is to be respected and to receive thoughtful gratitude from those we know. My Julia, we all know this has nothing to do with the product with which we wash our hair, the color of our eye shadow or the purse on our hip. Aim for something higher. Something eternal. Something that will be stored up for you in heaven. Love the God who created you and KNOWS you. Love the people God gives you. Let your light shine. This is true beauty.
“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
From within, my girl, sparkle and shine. Sparkle and shine.
I love you more than you will ever know. You are my darling girl.
Goodbye, 14. Hello, 15!
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