Time, Homecoming and Humble Pie
I’m faking fall by my fake fire this morning. The 95 that hit us yesterday was no joke for October. Tomorrow looks promising but who really knows. I’m ready to burn some real wood and wear something besides July clothing. Who’s with me?
A songwriter I met several years ago used to have a tag on her webpage— “writing when I should be sleeping”— like that was a normal thing for her. I will give up a few things, but sleep is not one of them. So for me— I should be studying for my next time to teach but here I am writing because I want to and I really love to process things this way.
A couple of years ago my friend posted her 9th grade son’s homecoming pictures— a large group of girls and boys all dressed up and looking very “grown”. I thought to myself, “No way will Julia be doing that in 9th grade. It’s too soon. How do we know this will turn out well? Who are those kids anyway?” Something like that but basically {in South Georgia talk}, “There ain't NO WAY she’s going to homecoming in 2 years.”
And there she is two years later at homecoming with a kid I had never heard of before Friday. It’s a great story but one for a back post later for the family books— and not to embarrass either party. It was a late ask —for good reason— no real fault by our new friend, Nathaniel. All I know is that Friday morning I called and ordered a nosegay for Jeff to give to Julia because she had made homecoming plans with girlfriends and 2 hours later I was calling the florist to change it to a boutonniere.
So, the young man…. before all of you freak out that we let her go with a “stranger”….. THIS is what friends are for—times just like this when you REALLY want to say YES to your daughter but DO NOT have the critical information you need. And if you don’t live here, Fort Worth is just a big small town. All it took was a text or two and the kid had stellar reviews blowing up my phone. {The funniest part of the texting is that BOTH MOMS I texted knew about the “ask” before I could inquire about the boy. Their sons had already texted them to tell them Julia had been asked!} Then, to hear my friends speak of his family— I knew Julia would be well taken care of — and the best part, she’d spend the evening with some of her closest friends. It was all just super sweet.
A songwriter I met several years ago used to have a tag on her webpage— “writing when I should be sleeping”— like that was a normal thing for her. I will give up a few things, but sleep is not one of them. So for me— I should be studying for my next time to teach but here I am writing because I want to and I really love to process things this way.
A couple of years ago my friend posted her 9th grade son’s homecoming pictures— a large group of girls and boys all dressed up and looking very “grown”. I thought to myself, “No way will Julia be doing that in 9th grade. It’s too soon. How do we know this will turn out well? Who are those kids anyway?” Something like that but basically {in South Georgia talk}, “There ain't NO WAY she’s going to homecoming in 2 years.”
And there she is two years later at homecoming with a kid I had never heard of before Friday. It’s a great story but one for a back post later for the family books— and not to embarrass either party. It was a late ask —for good reason— no real fault by our new friend, Nathaniel. All I know is that Friday morning I called and ordered a nosegay for Jeff to give to Julia because she had made homecoming plans with girlfriends and 2 hours later I was calling the florist to change it to a boutonniere.
So, the young man…. before all of you freak out that we let her go with a “stranger”….. THIS is what friends are for—times just like this when you REALLY want to say YES to your daughter but DO NOT have the critical information you need. And if you don’t live here, Fort Worth is just a big small town. All it took was a text or two and the kid had stellar reviews blowing up my phone. {The funniest part of the texting is that BOTH MOMS I texted knew about the “ask” before I could inquire about the boy. Their sons had already texted them to tell them Julia had been asked!} Then, to hear my friends speak of his family— I knew Julia would be well taken care of — and the best part, she’d spend the evening with some of her closest friends. It was all just super sweet.
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| We’ve known the Jordans for quite a while and mirrored school experiences. Glad Julia got to make this transition with Audrey. |
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| Hudson rode to Bossier City, LA in his infant carrier when Julia was born. He was barely 3 months old. |
What happened during the two years of “ain’t going” and “going with a stranger”?!? Two years. That’s what happened. I remember clearly the summer before 7th grade and how I felt I still had like a 10 year old in Julia and then thinking only 4-6 months later, “Whoa. Wait a minute. You certainly aren’t 10 anymore.” Lots happens when our kids sleep. I wrote a sappy post on that before. It feels crazy when you “miss” it. It really is like you turn around to answer their question and when you see their face, you stare and forget what the answer was. All you can think is “WHO IS THAT? HOW?! Just how?” And not only the physical changes but emotional/mental as well. They are capable of processing things that they weren’t able to just 6 months ago. You get to a point where you are like, “Yes, it’s time to have that conversation. I hate for her to have this knowledge of something so horrific, but it’s time.” A different level of exposure to worldly things is in order. They ask more questions and we can answer them more fully. The best part of all of it is, they can grow in their knowledge of the Lord, WHO HE IS and, hopefully, the value of walking with Him. As we answer questions and help them process the things they are beginning to notice around them, we can go deeper into the things of God because now, they can understand it more fully. Only they can choose whether or not to embrace Him and His ways. Our job is just to keep putting Him out there— walk and talk Him out in front of them. They get to choose.
Just how I can’t stop this aging process happening ALL over my self, we can’t stop it with our kids and it’s not healthy to try. As my kids have more freedom and get permission to do things that are completely out of my control and protection, I am figuring out that they probably know about 90% of what they need to know to make good decisions. We’ve already taught them this — since “littlehood”. Right? The context might change but not the principle.
So you sweet young mommas that stop by here from time to time, you lay that foundation for your sweet littles because they grow and become bigs— bigs who need to be bolstered from underneath and held up by the Truth that won’t change, bigs who will be making decisions out from under your watchful eye. We are raising our kids in years that things are changing so fast I don’t even try anymore. They NEED the security of Someone who never changes and the Words He gave us that don’t change. Our kids can be a voice of logic, reason and wisdom in a world of foolishness and spinning opinions but they need someone willing to put in the time to help lay this foundation beneath them.
And YOU, sweet momma, are just the one for the job.
I’m at it with you— not there yet, but in the process with you.
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