Tuesday, April 8, 2014

"Say Good Things About Me"

It was bed time and we had just finished reading.  In slow motion, Julia and Brighton were unfolding themselves off the couch and out from under blankets.  Then we all heard this,

“Dad, will you come in my room at 6:30 [a.m.] again….. lay down with me….. and say good things about me.”

That’s our son wearing his 10 year-old heart on his sleeve.  Having a need and speaking it loudly and clearly.  I really love this about him.  Really love.

These boys, as cool or tough or grown-up as they want us to think they are, need to hear daddy’s affirmations.  And mom’s.  I remember one day when he’d had a hard time playing with the kids in our old neighborhood and I had given him a pep talk in the middle of it.  After it was all over, he said, “Mom, you make me brave when you talk to me like that.  A brave boy needs a momma who loves him.”  Can I tell you how grateful I am to have a child that just says these things?  Because he has a mother that, at times, can spin around in her business with such tunnel vision that she forgets that the kiddos that live with her need her words to strengthen, encourage and affirm them--- especially when I spend so much time training and correcting them.

Gratefully, I have one that asks for the pendulum to swing the other way.

If you’ve read ONE post about B here, you know if it goes through his head, it comes out his cute little mouth- which is getting bigger all the time. And teeth are just FALLING out.  And the Tooth Fairy is very distracted by 11pm.  {It’s a recurring disease- this distracted Tooth Fairy business}  He knows it’s us but he loves to talk about her laziness and forgetfulness when his hand returns empty from under the pillow.  I will only receive the latter.  Anyway, he processes EVERYthing by talking about it and is learning the art-- STILL-- of waiting and actually LISTENing to the person so rudely using his airtime.  His urge to speak is SO strong, you can feel it.  Even though what comes out is not always pleasant, he knows how to dish out good words, encouraging words, affirming words.  It’s endearing-- and has saved his little behind much grief.
Upon awakening, “Just the beautiful face I have been wanting to see.”
During the school day, “Mom, thank you for helping us do all this hard school work when you didn’t sleep well last night.”
“Mom-Dad, thanks for taking me to my game and watching me the whole time.”
And the exchange I love to hear, Jeff-- “You’re a good boy.”  Brighton-- “You’re a good dad.”

He loves to speak words, but he also loves to hear them, when they are about him.  If they are good.  

In the car the other day, Julia said, “I like it when you call me ‘punkin’,”.  And just yesterday she said, “I like it when you call me ‘baby’,”.  Simple, affectionate words which can wield great power when “they go down into the innermost parts”.  I remember when Brighton was maybe 4 or 5 telling me from the backseat what each of his grandparents called him.  I tuned him out at first -- or maybe it took me a second to tune in-- but when I thought about what he said, he was right on.  {Ex.- my Mom- “angel”, Jeff’s mom- “sugar” and so on....}  This most important detail of his childhood thoughts is recorded somewhere on this blog, but for the life of me, I cannot find it.

These are my favorite mommy-speech verses.  There are MANY more, but I like the images that go along with these.

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 16:23-25

The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, And they go down into the innermost parts of the body.
Proverbs 18:7-9

Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.
Colossians 4:5-7

Is it strange to wish that these verses could dance around in the air around my house and dangle in front of me long enough to read?  And keep coming back....... until I whisper.  I’ve got an index box full I’d like to do that with.  And the crazy thing is MY love language is words of affirmation and we all know that we are supposed to be proficient in our own language.  I stink at it.  I do better with paper and pen and maybe I should do that more often.  The words tend to sputter and lose meaning as they bounce, ungracefully, from my mouth.  So I am working on this:   To be proficient in speaking words that strengthen the soul, that give life, that ooze with grace, that whisper deep and that go down sweet.


Kelly said...

Funny how one of my favorite of your attributes is that you seem to always make His words, yours. Love that B and J are picking up this precious morsel from Mom!

Emily said...

Great post. I was challenged in my heart today {and your post confirmed} to say the good things that I think often of others!

Alyssa said...

I love that B can identify and is willing to speak his heart's needs! This post reminds me of Ann Voskamp's saying, "Only speak words that makes souls stronger."

robin said...

Precious words. Blesses me to get to peek into your world and hear your heart. Thanks for sharing Krista.