Tuesday, August 27, 2013

To Build....To Make

They delivered the wood for our floors yesterday.  All that wood, just sitting there overnight..... two nights, actually..... for the taking.... for anyone who wants to haul off a few hundred square feet of wood.  Jeff sunk into the couch last night after kids were tucked in--not very tightly, I might add.  We saw Brighton at least four more times because he pulled TWO teeth lying there in the dark. -- Anyway, Jeff communicated that while he is still loving the building process, the focus on the temporal is getting old, like thinking of wood sitting in our unlocked house, analyzing bids, deciding on this or that, trying to get contractors back to the house for this or that..... We’ve talked about this before and I have had friends express the same feelings.  Jeff is having to focus on things like that and I have been looking at all the “pretty stuff” for MONTHS.  THERE IS SO MUCH OUT THERE!!!  SO MUCH.  The emails alone from home decor companies are enough to make you second guess every decision you make.  Did I get the best deal?  Well, maybe I DO want to keep everything the same color?  Will that light fixture give enough light in the space?  Is this too trendy?  Will I really still like this in a few years?  Will my kids be comfortable on this-- or WILL I BE comfortable with my kids on this?  Do I recover what I have or purchase something new?  I never have trouble sleeping-- NE-VER, but there have been some nights when my mind wouldn’t settle on a decision that I have laid there staring at the ceiling rebuking myself for being so ridiculous.

To build a house is a gift.  A generous gift and a privilege.  I am grateful and I am really enjoying the process but I knew it would be easy to get caught up in the fabrics, the fixtures, the textures, the surfaces and the colors.

When we moved from our last home, it felt, to me, as though a lifeline had been cut.  For a personality like mine, my “space” is near and dear and also, we were leaving a place of many “firsts” for our children.  Bittersweet, definitely.  We set up home in the rental as fast as we could and Jeff and I left town for a few days and while we were away, he slipped this card to my side of the bed.

There are houses and there are homes and you are a home maker.  From 1005 Elm Street to 7628 Blossom Drive to 4100 Pershing to 2905 Park Arbor Court to now, Clover Lane, you have always used whatever canvas you were given to craft a home.  My prayer is that the kids will learn that a house is great but is a home that really matters.  Park Arbor was a beautiful house but you are the one who made it a home.  I was sad to leave that house on Friday but I am very glad that the artist is going with me. 

Sigh.  I have a bursting boxful of notes from him.  He learned I am a "words" girl early on.  My purpose here is to highlight Jeff and what he is saying-- so sweet of him to encourage and affirm me in this way when I was exhausted and a little wounded after leaving a place with such sweet memories.  When I read this card in the hotel almost a year ago, I remember a little lump forming in my throat and not having the energy to give my emotion to it, but I knew the card would be a treasure for me.  And it is.  Because, in just a few words,  he is affirming what I do, what I am passionate about, what I devote a tremendous amount of time towards... he is appreciating it and giving me permission to enjoy it.

Emily-- so glad you were there.  God orchestrated that. And you took from your memory one of my favorite verses.

To build a house is a gift but to make a home is a ministry.

So as I choose what will fill this next canvas, you bet his words weave their way through my thoughts.  “Home”-- I am making a “home”.  Yes, I have many decisions to make and yes, I want it to look pretty, but what matters most is what I do, what we do as a family, how we parent, how we do marriage, how we offer hospitality, how we worship, what memories we make, how we celebrate, and how we love each other.

My prayer is that as He establishes our home through understanding and knowledge the "rare and beautiful treasures" would only be those things that can be experienced, lived, treasured, pondered and passed on.  So be it.


In deep contemplative prayer in his new room................ or maybe he's really hot and tired of writing on the walls?  You pick.


Emily said...

That really was a God-orchestrated meet up. I was SO BLESSED to be able to participate in that moment, as I have been blessed to participate in countless other Sanders family moments. It ministered to me to hear you mention to Julia how that verse was significant to me. Love this post because of that memory. Also, I have been thankful many many times for your gifts of homemaking, hosting and decorating. Can't wait to see how the next one turns out!

andrea said...

Soooo excited for you guys! What a lovely thing to do and so impressed that your children are able to write bible versus (from memory) on their house, as you all together will make it your new HOME! Tell everyone hello and G'day!
love andrea

Sarah said...

I love it! I need to do a drive by soon and see how it's looking :)

Alyssa said...

I love all the verses and hearing your heart in this process. Jeff's words are right on; I'd take you as my designer any day!